Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
