I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
