Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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