Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
