Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
ttyl tear gas
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
