Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
