addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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