saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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