eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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