At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
