After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
