Duck Duck Cougar?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
MIDGETS
????
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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