Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
