I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
