Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
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