..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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