Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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