those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
