I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
