Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
