I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
