i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
