Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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