Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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