): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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