drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
