you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
