this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
