I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
