He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
