I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
