shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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