My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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