so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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