Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
is that a dick in a sweater?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
