Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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