she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
