It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
