He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
