I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i've created a new STD.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
