Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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