Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
