he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
