my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
