Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
