ugly people sure do ruin things
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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