I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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