Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
