So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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