We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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