So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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