the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
